An adult paycheck feels better than that glass of water on your nightstand at 4 am. I recently finished grad school and this is the first time I have a real paycheck. I’ve had a blessed upbringing where my parents took care of everything growing up. On top of that, they supported me through my higher education journey. But I’ve never really had no-questions-asked discretionary spending. Every time I’d swipe my card in college I’d feel a pang of guilt; that feeling is now gone.
What do I do with this newfound financial independence? I went to the strip club. Had to—no other way to break in the new debit card. After the regret and glitter wore off I spent some time thinking deeply about how I plan to spend my money.
A little bit of background about my situation. I work as a Robotics Engineer at a Medical Device startup. While I’m all for transparency, it probably isn’t wise to disclose exactly how much money I make. However, I think I make an average salary when compared to my peers working in similar industries at a similar stage in their careers.
I’ve been reading, listening, and observing my peer’s finances to try to come up with a framework for how to spend money. Additionally, now that I’m employed, people love to give me unsolicited advice about how long I should live with my parents and which high-yield savings account I should put my money in (of course they send me their referral code). But all this advice, while well-intentioned, has little relevance to me in the long run. How can someone advise me on my financial situation without taking a look at my bank statements, and more importantly without knowing what my long-term lifestyle goals are? Like sure, maxing out my 401K and paying off high-interest debt while living at my parent's house is the best way to optimize the amount of money I will have at the end of my career. But what if I don’t care about that? What if I want to take a trip with my friends, while we are all healthy and young, now. What if I want to move to San Francisco and ‘waste’ money on rent so I can be around other young people?
I’ve taken their advice for now. I’m paying off my high-interest debt, saving in a high-interest savings account, and contributing to my 401K all while living at home. Since my expenses are virtually nonexistent here, and I still have some extra left over, I decided to sort of let myself run free. Everything that I wanted to spend my money on in college, but didn’t, I decided to treat myself to.
I like coffee. So now, every morning that I wake up early to hit the gym before work I treat myself to coffee. I also want to show my family how much I appreciate them, so I made it a point to take my parents out to a few nice dinners, I gave my grandparents cash (in accordance with the Indian tradition of distributing a portion of your first paycheck to elders in your family), and I bought clothes from overpriced European brands. I plan to keep spending for now, a trip to Mexico City with my cousins, maybe even an overpriced adult watch.
Spending is fun. Of course it is; we wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t. But spending without restriction has taught me something important. All the things that I really want can’t be bought with money. I can’t buy my way to being a better writer or engineer, I can’t buy better relationships with friends and family, and I definitely can’t buy a 6 pack (of abs, not beers).
Mindlessly buying stuff online makes me feel a similar rush to sitting at a blackjack table in Vegas. Only instead of being let down immediately, I have to wait 3-5 business days to open up my package. I then come to the conclusion that the reason this Parisian jacket looked so good on their website had more to do with the model wearing it, and less to do with the jacket itself.
The question remains, what do I really want? Like what in my life do I really cherish? It’s mostly just time with friends and family. But these good times are like trying to catch a butterfly, if you try too hard you might startle it and let it fly away. Coffee with my mom and dad on Saturday mornings, with the fancy floral cups that dad bought from India costs a grand total of $0.76. On the contrary, the fancy dinner we went on for my birthday cost upwards of $150: while very special, it didn’t pack the same punch per dollar.
When I was in grad school, I used to hang out with comics after our shows at my apartment in Berkeley. Funds were tight, so I used to think hard between the 30-pack of Coors Light or the 18-pack of hipster IPAs. “Fuck it, let’s get the hipster ones”, I used to think to myself. Even still they came out to $1.18 per can. We would stand on my comically large balcony, piss off my neighbors, and make omelets (with eggs also bought in bulk from Costco) if we got hungry. Our grand total for like 8 dudes would be like $30. I bought a girl from Hinge a $17 espresso martini; I sipped on my own $9 beer, nodded at her ramble about how much she hates dating apps, and thought to myself, “I would rather be splitting an omelet into 8 right now”.
This is an oversimplification, yes. More money is also very freeing. It relieves stress and gives you more agency in many different ways. The point that I’m trying to make is that having a good job will make your life easier, but it won’t solve all your problems. You might wear those cool sneakers from Spain, drink at a bar where the floor isn’t sticky, and get that fancy pour-over coffee. But you’re no happier than when you were a piece of shit college kid who went to protests just for the free pizza.
Also, having a job has unlocked a whole new fear for me. What if I get laid off? How am I gonna continue buying European goods?
Lucky for me, the stuff from Macy’s works just fine.
-Raj