I’m moving to San Francisco today.
I’m leaving my parent’s house, where I spent my formative years. My time here has been great. I moved back home after finishing grad school with the intent of staying put, saving some money, and spending some time with my parents. 3 months later, I’ve made the call to move out.
“Why beta? You must stay home with your parents and build togetherness as a family”, said Kamlesh Uncle (Name changed for privacy reasons). My coworkers had a similar opinion. “San Francisco is disgusting, you should have just stayed in Fremont”.
While initially discouraged by these comments, I now seek comfort in them. I have no intention of morphing into my coworkers, or my parent’s friends. So there truly is no reason to take their advice to heart. In fact, I’d say that my actions not aligning with their suggestions is actually a good thing.
The next question people ask me is, “Why don’t you just save your money and live at home?”. “Save for what?”, a down payment on a house? My wedding? I could also build a nuclear bunker or purchase a hazmat suits.
All these metaphorical cans have been kicked down the road.
I don’t mean to undermine the importance of saving. Saving is crucial. But I think many people undercut the value of personal growth.
Last week when I had 3 hours to kill at the airport. I wrote intensely about all of the formative life experiences I’ve had. I read them back and realized something.
In my journal, I recounted my Freshman 15, my sleep apnea-plagued roommate Rodrigo, and how cool I thought I was when I skateboarded across campus. I recounted my 20th birthday party with my best friends, the daily runs I used to go on by the beach, and the little engineering project that made it into the ‘finalist round’ of the design competition. I recounted the Sunday morning coffees, the sunset walks in Santa Barbara, all the jokes I’ve told, and that one girl that I’m still not really over.
What’s the common denominator? My adult life has been experienced outside of my parent's house. My hometown is great for reminiscing about my childhood, spending time with family, and authentic Indian food. But it isn’t the place for growth, it’s one for comfort.
And I’m really psyched about growth, obsessed with it even. Because the best investment I can make is one in myself. I plan to read voraciously, write more than ever before, and devote more time to comedy. I want to lock into work as well because, without a paycheck, everything falls apart.
I was talking to Ajay (Blog - CoAuthor) and he made a great point that has really stuck with me. You don’t need a ton of money in your 20s, use this time to become really good at something. If you work hard enough, the money will come in your 30s.
I acknowledge that this may not be the right move, and I may be getting this 100% wrong. But worse than being wrong, is turning into Kamlesh Uncle.
If you’re ever in the city, come say hi.
-Raj
Have fun in SF!
hi